The Jewish Love Fest: Tu B'Av
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Every year when Valentines' Day rolls around,
I remember back to my days as a young girl. My father would come home with a
small box of chocolates for each of his "girls". He'd hand us the box
of chocolates, give us a kiss and say "Happy Valentines Day." When I
got married, I looked forward to this day in anticipation of my chocolates. My
husband humored me for a few years and then one day informed me that Valentines
Day was not a holiday for us, but indeed a secular holiday with Christian
origins celebrating the memory of St. Valentine. It seems like Saint Valentine
use to encourage people to get married in spite of the verdict at the time. He
sounds somewhat romantic to me. My husband quickly informed me that there was a
Jewish "day of love" and it is Tu B'av, the 15th of Av. I quickly
informed him that that was really nice, but Hallmark was not aware, nor the
chocolate companies.
At any rate, every year on Tu B'av, my husband faithfully remembers the day showering me with love and affection and often chocolate and flowers. Historically, Tu B'av was a joyous holiday in the days of the Temple in Jerusalem. Unmarried girls would dress in white clothing (so that rich could not be distinguished from poor) and go out to sing and dance in the vineyards surrounding Jerusalem. Young men who had not yet married would go to watch and choose among them wives for themselves. The Talmud states that there were no holy days as happy for the Jews as Tu B'Av and Yom Kippur.
In addition Tu B'av marks several other events such as:
* While the Jews wandered in the desert for forty years, female orphans without brothers could only marry within their tribe, to prevent their father's inherited land in the Land of Israel from passing on to other tribes. On the fifteenth of Av of the fortieth year, this ban was lifted.
* That same year, the last of the generation of the sin of the spies, which had been forbidden to enter the Promised Land, died out.
Although the day has no specific observances in modern times, it is considered an auspicious day for marriage. It also marks an informal "high" to counter the "low" of the Three Weeks. It is considered in modern times to be a sort of Jewish Valentine's Day, an optimal day for weddings, proposals, and romantic dates in Israel. So if you're Jewish and you're reading this, why not celebrate the way your ancestors did? Your significant other may even get a good deal on roses and chocolate. Surely your kids will ask some questions and you can explain why you're being showered with roses in mid July.
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At any rate, every year on Tu B'av, my husband faithfully remembers the day showering me with love and affection and often chocolate and flowers. Historically, Tu B'av was a joyous holiday in the days of the Temple in Jerusalem. Unmarried girls would dress in white clothing (so that rich could not be distinguished from poor) and go out to sing and dance in the vineyards surrounding Jerusalem. Young men who had not yet married would go to watch and choose among them wives for themselves. The Talmud states that there were no holy days as happy for the Jews as Tu B'Av and Yom Kippur.
In addition Tu B'av marks several other events such as:
* While the Jews wandered in the desert for forty years, female orphans without brothers could only marry within their tribe, to prevent their father's inherited land in the Land of Israel from passing on to other tribes. On the fifteenth of Av of the fortieth year, this ban was lifted.
* That same year, the last of the generation of the sin of the spies, which had been forbidden to enter the Promised Land, died out.
Although the day has no specific observances in modern times, it is considered an auspicious day for marriage. It also marks an informal "high" to counter the "low" of the Three Weeks. It is considered in modern times to be a sort of Jewish Valentine's Day, an optimal day for weddings, proposals, and romantic dates in Israel. So if you're Jewish and you're reading this, why not celebrate the way your ancestors did? Your significant other may even get a good deal on roses and chocolate. Surely your kids will ask some questions and you can explain why you're being showered with roses in mid July.
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