De-Programming Bug

My son came home for the sukkot break from his Yeshiva. It took me 3 weeks to de-program him and re-orient him to the real world (where people make eye contact and greet each other with socially acceptable words, work for a living, mow the lawn, pick up trash, empty dishwashers, exercise and watch movies for entertainment value). After we embarrassed him a few times and nagged him a few hundred times, he caught on. He’s quite a bright 20-something (and handsome too) so the deprogramming only took a couple weeks. We went into high alert when he told us he wasn’t’ sure how long he would be in Yeshiva. We put in a direct call to the “all alert potential failure to launch” vocational adviser which caused him to suffer through several hours of intense “what is my 5 year plan” surveys and counseling. This was followed by a day at a home health care exhibition trade show in Atlanta, where I forced him to meet (and shake hands with) real working people. By the end of the 3 weeks, he even remarked about the beautiful trees that he was leaving behind in Atlanta. That is when I knew my job was complete (for this session). 
     It is not that I’m opposed to the scholarly type, but, well, lets say his potential may be in other areas, which are still to be determined from our most recent vocational survey. Now his little brother who prefers the Little Midrash Says to playing soccer, might just fit the role someday. And my daughter, well, let us all pray that she is “found” soon, as she is aspiring to be a film star. This is all baffling my reasonable and responsible approach toward life. At least one of my 4 kids needs to earn some money at some point, please G-d. We’ve asked for a dentist and we may get a break as our youngest is obsessed with his toothbrush. It seems that all of our kids will soon suck up our retirement, if the government doesn’t get it first. Surely, I have not raised a bunch of liberals! No offense to those of you who are still waiting for your social security to come in.

Meanwhile, it’s back to Brooklyn for my oldest (G-d help him). Back to black and white, all day learning, asphalt, snow, and men ignoring or grunting at each other and shnoring for their next meal. Next break? Pesach. I’m already preparing his debriefing. Do you think pink or purple window shades will help re-orient him faster? Maybe the fact that I’ve ejected him out of his room and boxed it up might do the trick. Well, I have time. Plus I’m planning a mid –February visit to his Yeshiva. Do you think there’s a reason he is not excited about that? In the meanwhile, I think I’ll send him some flowers for Chanukah. Should shake things up a bit, ya think?