The 11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Re-Gift

It is customary in our community, although not necessary, to bring a small token or gift to someone’s home when they have invited you for a Shabbos meal. It is fine, of course, if you show up without a gift, but a small gift is a way of showing your appreciation. This is not unique to orthodox Jews by any means. Sometimes I stop by a local farmers market and send over fresh produce or during planting season I might provide some of my own homegrown vegetables. Sometimes I might send over a dessert, some candy, flowers or a bottle of wine (the “I didn’t really have time to think of you, so just grabbed this off the shelf gift”). You know that bottle of white zinfandel that is sitting on your shelf?  Well, it has made its way around our community several times and then some.  I’ve even been known to welcome a new family with a huge jar of pickles.

Anyway, after my mother in law’s unfortunate passing, we had several packaged cakes sitting on our counter from people who had brought us food during the shiva (mourning period). Recently, we were invited out for 2 Shabbos meals: Friday night dinner and Saturday (Shabbos day) lunch. Both families live on the same street. I packed up some home grown banana peppers for each family, stopped by and picked them both up some farm-fresh tomatoes and then noticed the 2 cakes. I decided I would re-gift these, as we would not be eating them. 

I dropped off the items at the first house and then headed to the 2^nd house. I immediately noticed a look of recognition in the face of my soon-to-be host. I then realized I had re-gifted her cake (that she had brought to me from New York). Gulp. I retracted my cake offering to take it back home, as “I didn’t realize it was all the way from NY!” I immediately started a silent vidui (confession) promising not to ever re-gift again, when I noticed the son of the first family running across the front yard and into the home where I was now standing feeling remorseful. He had in his hand the cake that I had just dropped off at his house and was re-gifting my re-gifted cake to the same family from whom I was taking back the 2^nd re-gifted cake. I silently began hitting my chest even harder knowing that my first re-gifted cake had been rejected and was now sitting on the counter of the woman whom I had just retracted my 2^nd re-gifted cake. I then decided not only would I never re-gift, but also I would do an extra special vidui come Yom Kippur.

Well, I still need to drop off a baby gift to two families. I have a few baby toys that were never opened. Problem is, I don’t remember who gave them to me.  I think I’ll give them some post-partum pickles.