Eenie Meenie Minie Rebbe

The other night my husband told me he was soon going to pick one of two rebbes (Chassidic rabbis) to follow. There are many of them, but he has two that he has been following for a while. It seems that the one he has been following is a bit harder to connect with and the other is more available. Being that I will probably never encounter either one, I have to rely on my husband’s choosing, which WILL directly affect my life. I put a vote in to find a “happy” one and maybe one who wears a tie, as I’d really like to add some color back to my husband’s wardrobe. Apparently you can swap out rebbes without too much difficulty. Anyway, I asked him to compare them for me so I could understand what our choices were. He explained that one of them uses a smooth knife to cut the challah (bread that is eaten on the Sabbath) and the other uses a serrated knife. He also said that one uses the word “gefen” when recited the Kiddush and the other uses “gafen.”

He then went quiet.

I said, “So?? That’s it?! We’re choosing a rebbe based on his knife preference and pronunciation of a word?” Well, it seems obvious to me. I say we go with the serrated-knife-rebbe as the serrated knife doesn’t destroy the challah, but cuts it nicely. I have a friend who’s also married to a Chassid and he also tried to pull the knife stunt on her. He showed up one week with a smooth knife that nearly mutilated her beautiful challahs. She stood firm and warned him he was to never use any other knife than the designated serrated challah knife.

I told my husband that I was sure there were a few more points that he was forgetting to fill me in on. He smiled and said, “Of course.” To which I asked him if he wouldn’t mind making me a poster board with our new regulations once he has figured out which rebbe is our man. He smiled. So my future is "up in the air," until further notice. Please stay tuned. I’m sure I will have a lot to fill you in on.