The Joy of Dancing
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A couple weeks
ago my husband and I were invited to a wedding. We were very excited to go as
we don’t get away too often (just the two of us) and the man getting married
was the son of two of our very best friends in our community. In fact, there
were about 30 of us going to this wedding from our synagogue. We have a most
amazing community and we all step up when it comes to celebrations as well as
difficult times for each other. We are well, like, one big extended family
doing whatever is needed for one another. We really don’t think much of it
being too unusual, except that at this wedding, which was a mix of different
levels of observance, we had several people comment on how amazing it must be
to be a part of a community that travels to one another’s simchas
(celebrations). And indeed it is. We are blessed.
This was a unique wedding in the fact that the groom’s parents are observant, but the bride’s side is not. The couple themselves is somewhat of a marriage of these two philosophies still figuring out where they will fit. It was somewhat like My Big Fat Greek Wedding renamed as My Parent’s Big Fat Jewish Community at Our Wedding. We were only missing the “bundt” cake from the bride’s side.
The wedding was amazing and beautiful. It had all the parts that an orthodox wedding should have: the smashing of the plate, signing of the contract, the bedeken (checking to make sure the groom is marrying the correct bride), the bride circling the groom seven times under the chupa (wedding canopy), the blessings, breaking the glass, and so on.
And, then came time for the party….
Normally at an orthodox wedding, the guests are in the hall and the MC (or DJ) makes the familiar announcement welcoming “Mr. and Mrs. So and So” for the first time. Then the hall explodes into dancing where the bride is taken off by the women and the groom by the men into the controlled chaos that is otherwise known as Simcha (joyous) Dancing.
This was not this couples wish. The announcement was made and they entered and proceeded directly to the dance floor alone for the ceremonial “first dance” as husband and wife. All eyes were on the couple and the room was silent. Maybe it was that all eyes were on the new couple or maybe it was that we had just stepped out of an orthodox ceremony but we just weren’t sure where this was all heading. Then suddenly all went quiet. Their “first dance” music wouldn’t play. Awkward. No music. No dance. The DJ apologized and said he was having technical difficulties with the “first dance” song. Finally he said that in the interim he would like to invite everyone to the dance floor for a “Hora!” And a Hora he played. Everyone came out to dance. Everyone. Men and women started to form a single circle.
And there was our Rabbi.
He reacted like only an orthodox rabbi could. He had a brief second to capture the scene. He jumped right into the dancing, grabbed a hold of the groom and literally extracted him from the circle. Then my husband and three other men joined. More men followed and “voila,” like magic, the men and women separated into the most joyous, amazing Hora dancing we’ve ever seen. This separate, yet holy, dancing went on for 30-40 minutes with the chair lifting, line dancing, circle dancing, bridge dancing and entertainment. The groom’s side, the bride’s side, and especially the groom and bride were laughing and dancing in, well, the manner of an observant wedding. And by the end of the day, they eventually got their dance, but only after some very intense joyous dancing. Their first dance, was a “second dance,” and there was no rabbi to be seen. He had magically disappeared. The timing was all but perfect.
Some would say her wedding dance was accosted, but as it looked to us, it was clearly the hand of G-d (even the DJ will never know why the song would not play) and the hand of a very swift orthodox rabbi that left this couple with some amazing wedding memories and the blessings that come from celebrating with intense joy.
This was a unique wedding in the fact that the groom’s parents are observant, but the bride’s side is not. The couple themselves is somewhat of a marriage of these two philosophies still figuring out where they will fit. It was somewhat like My Big Fat Greek Wedding renamed as My Parent’s Big Fat Jewish Community at Our Wedding. We were only missing the “bundt” cake from the bride’s side.
The wedding was amazing and beautiful. It had all the parts that an orthodox wedding should have: the smashing of the plate, signing of the contract, the bedeken (checking to make sure the groom is marrying the correct bride), the bride circling the groom seven times under the chupa (wedding canopy), the blessings, breaking the glass, and so on.
And, then came time for the party….
Normally at an orthodox wedding, the guests are in the hall and the MC (or DJ) makes the familiar announcement welcoming “Mr. and Mrs. So and So” for the first time. Then the hall explodes into dancing where the bride is taken off by the women and the groom by the men into the controlled chaos that is otherwise known as Simcha (joyous) Dancing.
This was not this couples wish. The announcement was made and they entered and proceeded directly to the dance floor alone for the ceremonial “first dance” as husband and wife. All eyes were on the couple and the room was silent. Maybe it was that all eyes were on the new couple or maybe it was that we had just stepped out of an orthodox ceremony but we just weren’t sure where this was all heading. Then suddenly all went quiet. Their “first dance” music wouldn’t play. Awkward. No music. No dance. The DJ apologized and said he was having technical difficulties with the “first dance” song. Finally he said that in the interim he would like to invite everyone to the dance floor for a “Hora!” And a Hora he played. Everyone came out to dance. Everyone. Men and women started to form a single circle.
And there was our Rabbi.
He reacted like only an orthodox rabbi could. He had a brief second to capture the scene. He jumped right into the dancing, grabbed a hold of the groom and literally extracted him from the circle. Then my husband and three other men joined. More men followed and “voila,” like magic, the men and women separated into the most joyous, amazing Hora dancing we’ve ever seen. This separate, yet holy, dancing went on for 30-40 minutes with the chair lifting, line dancing, circle dancing, bridge dancing and entertainment. The groom’s side, the bride’s side, and especially the groom and bride were laughing and dancing in, well, the manner of an observant wedding. And by the end of the day, they eventually got their dance, but only after some very intense joyous dancing. Their first dance, was a “second dance,” and there was no rabbi to be seen. He had magically disappeared. The timing was all but perfect.
Some would say her wedding dance was accosted, but as it looked to us, it was clearly the hand of G-d (even the DJ will never know why the song would not play) and the hand of a very swift orthodox rabbi that left this couple with some amazing wedding memories and the blessings that come from celebrating with intense joy.
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