Drive Thru Forgiveness

Just the other day, I was getting my haircut. I love my hairdresser!  I get a haircut, head massage and therapy session in one. It's hair therapy. Anyway, she was asking me about my wigs, scarves and head coverings, and I assured her that my covering my hair was  reassurance that I would be a forever customer always needing a cut. In fact, I now needed to buy extra product to keep my new curls soft. We were then talking about the high holidays. She inquired about the Jewish New Year, and why it wasn’t the same as the Gregorian calendar's new year. She actually had the Jewish calendar confused with the Mayan calendar, but I explained to her that we have a 6000 year calendar (currently we just started the year 5774), whereas, according to the Mayan calendar, the world should have ended this past year.

So far, we're one up on the Mayans, no offense. 

I explained that the Jewish New Year celebrates the birth of mankind. She then wondered why the entire world was not celebrating the Jewish New Year. She's quite bright. As we went onto discussing all the high holidays, we ventured into the topic of Yom Kippur and repentance. She then told me that, in Tennessee, there is a church that has a “drive through ‘saving.” No, it’s not a college savings account; it’s a save-your-soul kind of saving. Yep, exactly. Apparently they are desperate for people to save, so you don't even have to go inside the church. You can just drive up to the window. I’m guessing someone like a priest sticks their head out and says, “What can I do for you?” The driver then will say, “I want to be saved,” to which the priest will reply, “and so you are.” Then the driver heads back to whatever hole they came from. I was wondering why even have a drive through? Why not just get saved on a Google chat or Skype? Probably already exists. 

Well, we don't have it that easy. Our teshuva process is so long; it basically never ends. It starts when you're very little and you get your first taste of Jewish guilt.  It just cycles from one holiday onto the next, although this time of year is more like teshuva on steroids. Even during the rest of the year, we're repenting, daily. With 613 commandments turned into 6130 commandments, we have to repent as soon as our first neuron synapses after Yom Kippur and understandably so. According to our calendar, we’ve only got 226 years left to save this world and it’s not looking so hot right now. It’s like we're on a perpetual hamster wheel. Nope, no drive through saving for us. There is work to be done. We have to give our past deeds tremendous thought, beat our chest and work hard... and then start all over ....and we’re not even sure if we did it right. But I like the idea of a drive through. Except if it were a synagogue, you’d pull up and a rabbi would stick his head out the window. You’d say, “I’d like to do teshuva,” to which he’d reply….. “So, how many mitzvot can you manage this year?” Well, as the saying, goes: Teshuva, Tefilla, Tzedaka (repentance, prayer and charity) can reverse the decree. Here's to a meaningful Yom Kippur and may you reach some soul searching heights. We're all counting on you.