New Square

I'm sitting in the balcony of a very large shul (synagogue) in New Square, New York. My husband and boys are down on the first floor amidst about 1000 (yes 1000) Hasidic men and boys. All the men are dressed exactly the same in a bekesha (long black coat), streimel (furry brown hat) and boots. They look militant. All the boys have on black pants, black vests, white shirts and black kippot (with payos(locks) framing their faces). The women who are with me in the balcony are all wearing a short sheitel (wig) with bangs that come across the right side of their face with either a scarf or hat over the sheitel. They all have on thick hose (tights), skirts below the knee and a high collared, long sleeve shirt.

 My husband has told me where he'd be sitting but I can't exactly remember as he also gave me a description for finding him the night before at the rebbes tish (table) and this is a different location. I've been scanning a scene of black and white (mostly black) now for about ten minutes. It's like a "Wheres Waldo" scene gone bad. I'm playing a real-live game of "Where's Mordechai?" but he doesn't have a red striped shirt and I'm regretting all those times I gave up on Waldo too quickly. To top it off I'm peering through lattice. My husband has already berated me for not seeing what was on the Rebbe's plate last night ("Did you not see the huge plate of carrots they gave the rebbe to eat?). Hey! I didn't bring my binoculars!

I finally spot two blond headed kids, who I think are my boys but they have on glasses and my boys do not where glasses. Finally after 20 minutes, I find them right under where I'm standing. One of my twins is trying to curl his payos in the opposite direction as he just found out they've been twirled the wrong way ("I didn't know there was a right way.") This doesn't work too well as they've been tightly wound now in one direction so reversing them results in a mess of wild hair. He realizes this immediately and puts them back to their original improperly twisted direction.  At any rate, I see them. I cannot understand what is going on, as although I go to services, this service is nothing like anything I've ever seen.  I feel out of place, for sure, but I'm also intrigued.

I do not fit in. That is quite apparent. My husband LOVES this place so I'm trying to feel what he feels, but I'm not getting that "lovin' feeling."  Just the other day, my daughter and I were handed a card (at the 4th of July parade) from one of the church floats. The card was called "the Eleven," and it had a picture of a rock band that performs every Sunday at 11 AM inside the church. I looked at the card and was like," Wow....We've been duped! They have a rock concert every Sunday..... We have a kiddish." Anyway, watching the rebbe was almost like being at "the Eleven,"  in the balcony of a concert, except..... there's no music and no band. There actually is a lot of singing and stomping and for those who can connect,  it's quite powerful. As an observer, it's quite a sight.

New Square is its own world. The Jews living there are closed off from everything most of us are accustomed to. They see very little crime or hostility, no internet, no Facebook, no videos, no movies, no secular magazines or books, and no outside world.  Their lives, their souls, their mission is  here for one purpose: to follow the 613 commandments and to serve G-d.  They do this through the leadership of their Rebbe.  I have only seen the rebbe from afar, though I did have the opportunity to meet him at 2 am if I had wanted to (he is very busy no less).  At any rate, this little town, about a 15 min walk from one side to the other, houses about 5,000 people and literally has it's own heartbeat. If you consider, for example, a typical citizen, these people are like the Navy Seals..... of Judaism. 

I am impressed by the women here. They are in charge. They seem quite happy too. Their children are much more innocent than most children I know. They have very little to themselves in regards to toys or clothes and yet they play, laugh, giggle and share as if they have an abundance.  I never saw them fighting, whining, or wanting.  We took up 4 of their beds during our visit and the  kids all doubled up to allow this (they have 17 children total, not uncommon in New square).  Speech is limited to what is necessary and not for venting or chatting or socializing, at least not on Shabbos.  During my visit, this had me watching my speech constantly. Without much in common, the topics left to talk about were quite few. Men and women walk on the opposite sides of the street and are kept separate with the exception of marriage.  I had to keep hopping from one side of the street to the other at intersections to ensure I was on the proper side. 

There are a multitude of weddings, brises and bar mitzvahs weekly. They have their own school buses, grocery stores, schools and even their own cemetery.  My husband loves to visit this "right"eous community. My daughter and I consider it a "Havaya (experience)."

At any rate, we spent Shabbos in New Square and I ate a lot of brown food. Our brown food diet included: challah (break), fish, chicken, potato kugel, onion kugel, sweet noodle kugel, cow hooves with garlic (I had to pass on that one) and a cooked (yes brown) pear. Apparently, it's the same brown food that the rebbe himself eats. Somehow Hasidic Jews have never received the "eat foods in a variety of colors" memo, the food pyramid or the American' Cancer Associations suggested daily diet  that includes vegetables and green food. But not to worry, as I packed apples and other travel goodies with me and schlepped them from Atlanta. After one day, my kids were ingesting the apples like they were candy. 

New Square was just one stop on a trip we were taking to New York to drop our boys off at camp. We also managed to stop in the Bronx to visit "Buby Stark," the Hudson Valley to visit family (and a sigh of relief coming from New Square) and to see West Point Military Academy ( I found such striking parallels between my visit to New Square and my visit to West Point. Discipline, self-control, ethics, community, dress-code, honor, respect and several other themes pulsate through both environments.  Whereas West Point may be producing military officers, New Square is producing religious ones). We also stopped in Kiryas Yoel to go shopping....yes for another bekesha. Everything inside the store was black or white. I was in tye-die.

I am looking forward to my next trip to New York. I'm insisting on a stop at Harriman State Park. And, of course, my husband insists on another Tish. I may go along but this time I'm bringing apples AND carrots. When the rebbe eats his carrots, I'll have mine too.

#marriedtoayid, #New Square #Haredi